KG Goes Green

As usual, the trading deadline has come and gone with no big names going anywhere.

Big Tex to the Braves. Yawn.

Gagne to the Sawx. Couldn't care less, except now I need a new closer for my fantasy team.

And of course the blockbuster deal of the Red Sox sending Joel Pineiro to the Cards for the always popular Player To Be Named Later.

Then, there's the NBA and the Boston Celtics who literally just gave up an entire starting five for one man.

Yes, that player is Kevin Garnett. Sure, it will put butts in the seats. And most likely, this team will win more than the 24 games of a year ago.

After a draft-day trade for Jesus Shuttlesworth, the Celts now have 3 perennial all stars on the roster.

Sadly, last time I checked, the NBA only plays with one ball and all three of these guys are allergic to the word "defense."

But as a Spurs fan, I couldn't be happier over this deal. Not only does it take KG out of the West, but it takes him out of the hands of potential suitors Suns and Lakers. Whew!

But hey, at least my buddy Jefe is happy! I'm looking forward to him drafting all three of these guys in fantasy hoops next year.

All in all, this team can't possibly be any worse than they were last year.

I'll set the Over/Under on Celtic wins this season at 41.

Now accepting all wagers!

Cub Fans Singing A New Tune

There’s a new song sweeping the nation… well, at least Cubs nation.

It’s “GO CUBS GO” by the one and only Steve Goodman! (don’t worry, I’ve never heard of him either). But the song rules! They play it inside Wrigley after every Cubbies victory.

Forget “New York, New York.” I wanna be a part of “GO CUBS GO!” Check it out. Good sh*t.




Speaking of the Cubs (and BEAR with me here)… Ok, as of right now, the Cubs are 55-49. I’m not ready to crown our asses just yet (I’ll let Denny Green do that), but optimism is abound on the North side of the Windy City. And while a lot of fans of other teams might not make a big deal out of being 6 games over .500, here’s the stat…

Last year, we didn’t get our 55th win until September 1.

After losing to the Phils on Monday night, we’re 1 game behind Milwaukee for first place. Look, I’ve been living and mostly dying with the Cubs for the better part of 30-plus years now and I can count all the times I’ve been able to say anything close to “1 game out of first” this late in the season on one hand. So yes, I’m going to celebrate it and I’ve been saying it all along – the Brewers are extremely talented, but also very young.

And as all young teams do, they will hit a slide. It’s not IF, it’s WHEN. The Cubbies just have to hope we can take advantage of it. It’s no stretch to think just-above-.500 ball from here on out takes home the division.

GO CUBS GO!

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And hey, while we’re on the subject… has anyone else noticed that after a horrendous start, Carlos Zambrano leads the majors in wins?

After a 3-3 start with a 5.88 ERA, Big Z has given up more than 3 earned runs only once in his last 11 starts.

And if that’s not enough, here’s how good Zambrano was on Sunday against the Reds…

Not only did he pitch 7-plus shutout innings leading us to a win, he also out hit Cincy by himself… 3-2.

Michael Barrett, your “Thank You” card is in the mail.

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Meant to write this yesterday, but it’s never too late to recognize excellence.

A big congratulations to Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr.

How fitting is it these two guys are enshrined in Cooperstown on the same day? I can’t think of two other guys who played the game with the professionalism at such a high level for such a long time. Too bad consistency is boring or more up and coming players might emulate these two living legends instead of guys like McGwire and Sosa.

Props to Tony & Cal.

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I think today is a good day for a trivia question…

Which two pitchers gave up home runs to both Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds during their careers?

Answer at the bottom…

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And lastly, me and Shell attended a taping of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” over the weekend. Good stuff. Although the taping is way ahead of the episodes they’re airing, so it was a little bit of a spoiler.

We got to see a challenge round – the short little British kid who looks like he’s 12 vs. the large white girl with the long brown hair.

Both were really, really funny. We like both contestants so it was tough to vote against one of them. As it turns out, Shell and I each voted for the other contestant, so we canceled each other out. How ‘bout that.

The episode airs in about 2 weeks… will be curious to see if we made it on air. Cameras were all around us. Shouldn’t be too hard to spot me… I’m the guy drinking the free beer sitting next to the prettiest girl in the place. Damn Shell looked good!

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Trivia Answer – Frank Tanana and Rick Reuschel. Good one, right?

FOR SALE: One Michael Vick Jersey (Mint Condition)

So my boss is on vacation this week. She’s a huge sports fan and she took her son to Atlanta. While there, they hit the opening of Falcons camp. She called me from camp. Said there were two distinct groups of people who made their presence well known...

One chanting things along the lines of "Vick is sick."

The other chanting "let him play."

I’m assuming the latter was made up of fantasy football owners in keeper leagues whose franchise destiny depends solely on the left arm and more likely the two feet of #7.

Because certainly no decent minded individual could possibly support this idiot.

And while it’s interesting to look at how the fans are responding, if you want to know just how bad it’s gotten for Michael Vick, here’s all you need to know...

Reebok has suspended sales of his jersey.

Nike has suspended all endorsement deals and has yanked all Vick products from its line.

And last, and by far the most telling fact… try going to NFLShop.com, the official site for all NFL merchandise and type Vick’s name into the search feature. Here’s what you get:

"We are having trouble locating a match for your search."

The NFL’s own site has removed any and every product having to do with PETA’s new public enemy #1.

Even when Kobe was embroiled in the middle of his rape case firestorm, the NBA wouldn’t dare yank a single item from their catalogue. After all, in the end, sports is a business.

But the NFL is apparently more than willing to trade the cash flow for a bit of dignity.

I’m surprised by the move. Good for them.

Ironically, you can still get your hands on just about anything of Pacman Jones you want at NFLShop.com.

Draw your own conclusion.

Monday Musings: The Fix Is In!

A few random notes for a Monday that seemed to never end...


This just in! Michael Vick is a moron. I don’t care what they charge him with or not, how dumb do you have to be to even have your dry cleaner’s name associated with this garbage when you’re an NFL superstar? Here’s a good idea… let’s put him in a steel cage with 10 trained fighting dogs and see how fast he really is. Sick ‘em!

...

Barry Bonds’ home run chase has been anything but exciting for me. But as he now sits two away from arguably the most hallowed record in all of sports, I want to be watching when it happens. Why else would I be sitting through a Braves-Giants game on a Monday night? And like him or not, Bud Selig has no business not being on that field when he does break the record. It’s your sport. It’s your rules. You couldn’t find a way to penalize him for cheating. Now get your ass out of your seat and go congratulate him.

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I hope the mob gets to NBA ref Tim Donaghy before the cops do…and so does anyone else who was in on the fix. I don’t know who’s stupider – the mobsters who think they can get away with it or the dumbshits who agree to it. On second thought, throw them all in the cage with Vick and the dogs too.

...

Six innings. Five hits. Two runs. Three walks. Six strikeouts. Ninety-five pitches. One win.

Not breathtaking numbers by any means, but without question, the most congratulations-deserving stat line of the night, and maybe the baseball season so far.

I got goose bumps at times watching Jon Lester take the mound for the Red Sox after being diagnosed with cancer less than a year ago.

For everything that’s wrong with the world of sports today, watching this kid make a triumphant comeback was awe-inspiring. I couldn’t help cheer for him.

And I don’t even like the Red Sox.

...

Four days until the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears report for their first practice. A big thank you to the Cubs for keeping me distracted this long from the uncertainty surrounding Da Bears. I’ve never been so anxious and so worried for the start of an NFL season. Thank God we play in the worst division in football. We’ll make the playoffs again. Book it.

Mid-Season Awards: American League

Man, I’m not sure where I left it, but if anyone finds my motivation, please send it back my way.

To all 10 of my faithful readers (not named Mom and Dad) I apologize for my lack of writing lately.

I could say I’m busy. I could say work is long. But I love to write and it’s frustrating I haven’t done more of it. No excuses.

Last time out, I promised my AL Mid-Season Awards. And since I’m nothing if not a man of my word, here they are (albeit a little late… and perhaps a little brief).

But nevertheless…

MVP: Alex Rodriguez – Nice that at least one of my 10 BOLD PREDICTIONS to start the season is already locked in. A .314 average with 34 HRs and 99 RBI and there’s still 70-or-so games left. Sheesh. Damn, he's gonna look good in Wrigley next year. A nice argument can be made for Magglio Ordonez. Too bad his own teammate (Gary “I’m Not A Racist, But Everyone Else Is” Sheffield) will steal a chunk of votes from him.

CY YOUNG: C.C. Sabathia – Yeah, the ERA (3.88) is a bit high. But dude’s 13-4 with 127 Ks and 21 walks in 146 innings. And HE is the reason the Tribe are in a position to make a playoff run. Of course, I’m writing this one down in pencil since we all know Johan will be lights out in the second half like he always is and probably steal the award. Here’s a stat for all of you keeping score at home… Over the past four seasons, Johan Santana is 40-4 in the second half. 40 wins. 4 losses. Insane. Well, make it 40-5 as the Blue Jays just rocked him. Someone hand me my pen!

ROY: Daisuke Matsuzaka – Not sure he’s exactly lived up to the hype (or the hefty paycheck) but the Dice man has had a solid freshman campaign… even if he is 26. But even at that, a 11-7 record with 131 Ks and 46 walks in 130 innings is a solid half-a-year, at any age. But here’s a name to watch – Royals OF Billy Butler. The kid is knocking in runs like they’re going out of style. He has 22 RBI in the last 80 at bats and his hitting a robust .375 over that stretch.. Only 8 guys in the bigs have more rib eyes during that time. Ellner, that one was for you! Royals suck.

MANAGER OF THE YEAR: I’ve heard of co-winners, but can two guys in the same position on the same team win the same award? I would’ve said Mike Hargrove was the winner here. But after leaving for uh, whatever lame (and really oddly timed) reason he gave, now what? Handing it to the new guy (I have no idea what his name is…Mr. McGillicutty or something?!?) just doesn’t seem right. I don’t want to give it to Jim Leyland since I could coach the Tigers and win 3 out of every 4 with that team. I guess it goes to Hargrove for getting the freakin’ Mariners 15 games over .500 before he bailed. After all, these are mid-season awards.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: The Seattle Mariners – Felix Hernandez. Miguel Batista. Jarrod Washburn. Horacio Ramirez and Jeff Weaver. That is their starting rotation. They are 54-41. That’s more wins than the Twins, Yankees, Braves and Padres to name a few. Two games out of first place and two games out of the wildcard. And besides Ichiro, name a hitter on the Ms. Have I mentioned who their starting rotation is? Good for the Mariners and their fans.

BIGGEST BUST: Chicago White Sox – Keeping with the team theme, what the hell has happened to the South Siders? Worst team batting average in the AL (.243); last in runs scored (407) and only the Rangers and Devil Rays boast worse team ERAs than the Pale Hose (4.76). Not only are they 15.5 games out of first… they are tied with the Royals! Need I say more?

TEAM TO BEAT: Detroit Tigers – If I were a gambling man (oh who am I kidding), I’d put my money on the Tigers to win it all. Great lineup. Solid rotation. Good manager. A bit of a shaky bullpen, but they’ve got enough to overcome it. For all the talk of “Will the Yankees make the playoffs?” I just don’t think it will matter. Detroit is too good and too balanced for anyone to beat…

…well, except maybe the Cubs! Best record in baseball since Big Z punched our catcher (I’ve already forgotten his name) right in the face. GoCubsGo!

Oh wait, this was an AL article.

Mid-Season Awards: National League

First off, ALOHA and M’AHALO my friends!

I’ve just returned from my first trip to the islands of Hawaii. And after a week in beautiful, serene Kauai all I can say is it’s so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

(Thank you Ferris)

But enough about me, let’s talk about sports. After all, I assume that’s why you’re here. I started writing this before I left but caught an early case of island fever and never finished, so let’s pick it back up. And actually, a week or so removed, some of my picks have changed. Who knew?!?

It’s my mid-season MLB awards. Today we’ll do the NL. Later this week, the AL.

So without any further adieu…

MVP: Prince Fielder – Does anyone think the Brew Crew would be having this kind of success without him? The husky hitter already has two more homers (30) than he had all of last year… and he’s done it in 230 less at bats. Prince also wins the award for biggest bargain, as he’s making only $410,000 this season. Not bad for the league’s HR leader.

CY YOUNG: Jake Peavy – Admittedly, I had given the nod to Brad Penny when I wrote this 4 days shy of the All Star break. Funny how two weeks can change your mind. Both guys have made 18 starts (15 quality starts each), but Big Jake has more Wins, Ks, less hits given up and a lower ERA. Plus, after giving up a total of 5 Earned Runs in 5 consecutive starts, Penny got lit for 6 earned in his last start, raising his ERA by nearly half a run. Peavy the Padre wins.

ROY: Ryan Braun – I hate the co-winners, but if there was ever a case for it, this might be it between Braun and Hunter Pence. But if I haven’t mentioned it, I hate co-winners. So I’m going with Braun. In only 172 at bats, the Brewers 3B already has 13 HRs, 36 RBI, 38 Runs and 8 SBs. Oh, and he’s only hitting .348. If he had enough at bats, he’d be leading the NL in average. Project that out over a little less than a full season (500 Abs) and you’re looking at about 40 HRs, 110 RBI, 115 Runs and 25 SBs. That’s a season most vets would hang their hats on any day… let alone a rookie.

MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Grady Little – Here’s another category I have to change my pick on. Two weeks ago, Bud Black’s Padres were sitting atop the NL West with the league’s best record. Now, not so much. Instead, I’m actually giving the nod to Little. I wouldn’t want the guy managing my team ever, but the Dodgers are now the owners of the NL’s best record and LA has a winning record at home, on the road and against every other division in the league (the Braves are the only other team that can say that). Aside from the surprising Russell Martin, look up and down the Dodgers lineup and show me a single hitter that scares you. Keep looking, you won’t find one. They’ve won the way you’re supposed to – pitching and defense. And for that, Grady is my guy. Although I’m keeping this spot warm for Lou Piniella when it’s all said and done and the Cubbies take the division.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: Francisco Cordero – Show me the man who predicted Coco would lead the majors with 28 saves at the break and I will show you a fantastic liar or a complete idiot. But for all the reasons the Brewers have been solid so far, Cordero is just as important as any of them, having converted 28/30 save chances. As a Cubs fan, I’m very much looking forward to his inevitable meltdown down the stretch.

BIGGEST BUST: Andruw Jones – Uh, what the hell happened to Jones? Entering a contract season, most projected a monster year for AJ. Coming out of the break, although he’s got 17 HRs, he’s sporting a .211 batting average and has struck out 88 times. Yuk. Anytime you hit .302 over the last 14 games coming into the break with 6 HRs during that stretch and these are the numbers you’re sitting on, that’s no good. Did I say yuk?

TEAM TO BEAT: Mets – I hate to say it since aside from the Cardinals, there’s no team I enjoy watching fail more than the Mets, but come playoff time, with that lineup, there’s no team I’d rather avoid more. Pitching has been surprisingly adequate thus far and with Pedro due back before the playoffs, it can only make matters worse for opposing teams.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got to say on the Senior Circuit so far. Got your own choices? Send ‘em along so I can subject you and your picks to public ridicule!

What's A Guy Gotta Do For An R-Rating?

It looks like my blog is not intended for small children.

Who knew?!?

A website that gives blogs official ratings has declared That's What HE Said a PG-13 site. So kiddies, make sure you have the permission of a parent or guardian before logging on.



The site said the rating was based on my use of the words "crap" and "steal."

Well how 'bout that!

All I have to say is you dumb sonsofbitches must not have looked very close or you would've found a lot worse than that.

Of course, I'm not telling you where it is. Suck it! (maybe that can bump me up to R!)

Official All Star Ballot

Seems like just yesterday me, Baker and Rubes were counting down the days until pitchers and catchers reported to camp.

Here we are 4 months later and all of a sudden, the season is half over. As most teams are putting their 80th game in the books today, we’re just hours away from the announcements of this year’s All Star starters.

So with that, I offer my own ballot. If you agree/disagree or if you’re Chris Ellner and you just want to give your Royals some love, send over your All Star rosters.

Until then, here’s mine…

NL
C – Russell Martin, Dodgers (leads all NL catchers in hits, runs, rbi, HR)
1B – Prince Fielder, Brewers (more runs, doubles, HR, RBI than Pujols. Note: if this were a hot dog eating contest, Prince is also my pick)
2B – Chase Utley, Phillies (best 2b in the bigs)
3B – Miguel Cabrera, Marlins (more runs, hits, RBI, HRs, higher avg. than David Wright)
SS – Jimmy Rollins, Phillies (one of only 5 guys in history to have double digit HRs, doubles, triples and SBs before the break)
OF – Matt Holiday, Rockies (.348 average leads the NL)
OF – Alfonso Soriano, Cubs (nowhere near projected 40/40 pace, but after a slow start, Sori is hitting .307, 15 HRs, 10 SBs)
OF – Ken Griffey Jr. (I’ll give $1 to the man who thought The Kid would have 21 HRs before the break. Good for Griffey. Might as well give him one more All Star nod before it’s over)
SP – Brad Penny (more wins, innings, quality starts, less walks, less losses, better ERA than Jake Peavy)

Toughest call – SS (That Jose Reyes guy in NY is pretty good. 39 steals and a .317 average are no joke. I still give nod to Rollins)

AL
C – Victor Martinez, Indians (hitting .322, leads all MLB catchers in runs, HRs, RBI)
1B – Justin Morneau, Twins (if you are a fellow member of the Red Eyed Bandits fantasy league, you know how hard it is for me to give the big Cannuck the nod. I waived him after Week 5 last season when he was hitting .220. Who knew?!? What a prick.)
2B – Brian Roberts, Oriolies (I haven’t seen a single B-Rob highlight all year but his numbers dictate I should’ve seen quite a few)
3B – That guy in New York (he’s good)
SS – Orlando Cabrera, Halos (I’m not sure there’s a more unheralded star in baseball than the Wizard of the O.C. Check the numbers. Leads all MLB SS in hits and average)
OF – Magglio Ordonez, Tigers (leads MLB in average (.370); he’s the AL MVP right now)
OF – Vladimir Guerrero, Halos (before the season starts you can pencil his name in this spot year in and year out…might as well start using ink)
OF – Ichiro, Mariners (hit .305 in April, when May ended he was at .336, heading into July, Ichiro is hitting at a .368 clip)
SP – C.C. Sabathia (the big lefty with the crooked cap is 12-2 with a respectable 3.20 ERA. He leads the world in innings pitched thus far and in 129 innings, he’s struck out 116 and walked 17. That’s not a typo. 17 walks in 129 innings.

Toughest call – SP (Johan has been Johan and Beckett has been a surprise, but CC’s toughest competition was actually Oakland ace Dan Haren. Why? How about because only once in his 17 starts has Danny not posted a quality start. That’s 16 out of 17 folks. He’s got a 1.91 ERA! If Oakland gave him any run support, this kid could easily be 14-2 instead of 9-2 and he’d be our starter.

And just for kicks, here's your official All Star Game prediction...

AL 11, NL 8

W: John Lackey
L: Ben Sheets

MVP: Ichiro